Something says I should apologize for not posting this week, but then I feel pressured to write for others. Hmm – do I do this for me or for other people? Hmm – personal time: I have felt driven to write all week, but I have also been beaten to the ground by allergies. I suffer from wheat intolerance (gluten, gladian, pineapple, beans for those who understand). This means that when I ingest one of my allergens, I go through 3 days of reaction. These start with the typical allergic reaction of stuffiness, plugged ears, and sinus sensitivity. No amount of antihistamine or decongestant helps. I then go to the exhausted, depressed and bedridden portion of my reaction. I have tried the “working through the issues” and “keeping a stiff upper lip”, along with “just keep going” ideas. Nope – complete failure. Sleep is the only safe way to carry on. Then – day THREE! No brain left at all. Do not allow any “auto pilot” effects since there is no happy place to get to. DEPRESSION! MIGRAINE! EXHAUSTION AND DEATH WISHES! SUICIDE IS A POSITIVE OPTION AT THIS POINT. I have often wondered with others suffering from similar symptoms, especially if they are teenagers, how do they keep going. I have been overwhelmed with the only option of suicide, and only the “reality” that I am in an allergic/physical reaction to something has kept me from giving in. How do teenagers, full of angst and teenage emotion, battle a reaction like this??? I have 3 grandsons, 9, 13, 17, who are all gluten sensitive/allergic. What is their future? I wish I could make a difference.
If you have food allergies, if you have any allergy that affects your emotions – hang in there. Feel my support for your situation. Embrace the reactions and laugh at them. Let them happen, but keep your sense of humor. I had to tell my College students last night that I was unable to function under “auto pilot”, so if I made a silly statement, let me know. Did it help – yes. Did it stop it from happening – no. But, did I survive? Absolutely.
Today, I feel great. Normal – even. Life is worth it. Even when it is not exactly fun.